Pam Boyd's Blog

Archive for the ‘General’ Category

1 Corinthians 16: 14 “Do everything in love.” 

Love…it should be evident in the way we talk to others, the way we listen to others, the way we respond to others and the way we care for others. Those are just a few examples of love, but I think they are some of the most important. WHEN WE SPEAK LIFE TO OTHERS, WE SPREAD LOVE TO OTHERS.

Love matters because it matters to God. We are created in God’s image; therefore, we are called to honor others with respect and with words and actions that value them.

I have become more aware now, more than ever, that God is showing me how to be a ‘carrier’ of His love. Sure, it’s easy to love those that love me; but to love those who don’t love me back or to love those who are just so difficult to love is frustrating. For some of us, it can be very painful and disappointing. When we learn to love the unlovable, we have developed the ability to see others as Jesus does. We often are too quick to dislike or dismiss someone, but we must remember that we, too, have qualities that others may find ‘unlovable’.

Some of the best advice that I’ve ever heard is to never let an issue with someone become more important than the relationship. God tells us to work it out in Matthew 18:15-16 “If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him—work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you’ve made a friend. If he won’t listen, take one or two others along so that the presence of witnesses will keep things honest, and try again.”

Even in conflict or confrontation, love is vital and must be the most important component in the conversation. I have been a moderator in many meetings where conflicts and confrontations must be resolved. I usually end those meetings with the ones in opposition praying over one another. The outcome may not end with them being best friends, but at least, they do leave the meeting better than when they arrived. J

Love is a self-less act that Jesus portrayed with dignity. As a Christ-follower and one who desires to become more like Him, it must become a self-less act for me, too.

For too many years for me to remember, I struggled with comparing myself with others, which produced a mess of insecurity.  I always wanted something other than what the Lord had blessed me with. I thought I was short-changed! Growing up, I was never really into designer clothes or fancy jewelry because heaven forbid that I EVER lose one of those expensive items. What I physically wanted was the long, silky hair or the deep, golden skin. What I longed for most was an outgoing personality and quick wit. My fear was that I was going to say something stupid and I would be humiliated; therefore, I chose to not talk much which led to me being labeled ‘shy’. I hated that word with everything in me! I did NOT embrace my ‘introvertness’ at all.

As I grew older, I chose to accept the challenges of my youth and my personality began to blossom. I give much of that credit to performing on my high school’s dance line for 4 yrs. You cannot be reserved when dancing in front of a gym full of people or in the middle of a football field with packed bleachers. 🙂 I also give a lot of credit to my comedic husband who has an unintentional way of drawing that funny side out of me.We tend to ‘feed off’ each other’s comments and have our own little comedy act sometimes.

Through the years as I became more and more confident through studying His word and what He says about me and embracing how He created me; I realized that my early comparisons were simply trivial. If we wake up every morning with that outlook, all of those comparisons seem insignificant. One of my favorite scriptures is

1 Peter 3:3-4

I want to be of great worth in His sight, don’t you! Embracing our image created by the Almighty is one of the most powerful stories that we can share to ‘help’ others do the same. Note that I said ‘help’. We live in a world now where the “me” generation seems to be taking all of us hostage! They are not ‘helping’ anyone, in my opinion. It’s rather heartbreaking to see on social media so many children AND adults craving so much attention from not only friends, but complete strangers! Everything does not need to be shared! If we create our own image to please ourselves and others, then we fail. We tell God, “Your image is not good enough. I can do better”, and we completely become this facade, a fake. I was well on my way to becoming this until one day when I looked in the mirror and saw myself not through my eyes, but through His eyes. As I said earlier, it took many years, much prayer, and diving into His word for me to get to that place…I could not do it on my own. My flesh is so weak, but my Spirit is so willing. 

Matthew 26:41

41 “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

The temptation of comparison is real. It’s deceiving. Our enemy knows it and he thrives on destroying us with it; however, we are overcomers by the power of the Holy Spirit within us. We do not have to open the door to this stronghold.  God is within us!

As soon as I became comfortable with how God created me, my confidence soared not only in myself but in my God. My faith grew tremendously, my love for Him is like none other and my fear of God is healthy and respectful.

“Be your true self, everyone else is already taken.” 🙂

This has set me free! Don’t be a slave any longer. Don’t let the enemy push this hot button. You are a child of God! Walk in it!

1. When our thoughts are consumed with others’ thoughts toward us – we are walking in the fear of man.

2.  When our day goes south because we feel slighted by a comment or a cross look – we are walking in the fear of man.

3.  When we feel the need to get others on our side by speaking ill of another – we are walking in the fear of man.

4.  When our goal is more to impress than to bless – we are walking in the fear of man.

Fear of others’ opinions doesn’t just show itself through insecurity, it’s also revealed through pride. There’s no winning the battle of others’ opinions!  It’s a trap, and we will be its slave if we reduce our lives to a series of actions that will please others and give them a momentary favorable opinion of us.

However, when we walk in the fear of the Lord-when we love Him enough to do what He says-we will be safe. Not that others won’t gossip-they will-but when they do, He will be our defense. 🙂

~excerpt from Susie Larson’s book The Uncommon Woman…this applies to men, too, though. 😉

We all get offended at some point in our life. In fact, Jesus said it is impossible to NOT get offended in Luke 17:1
“Then said he unto the disciples, It is impossible but that offenses will come: but woe unto him, through whom they come!”.
Offenses usually happen when you see, hear, or experience a behavior that is so different from what you expected that it causes shock and/or disappointment. We all have been on the receiving end of offenses and most likely, the source of offenses, whether intentionally or not. Many times our offenses are just a misunderstanding or something that we’ve dreamed up in our mind of what ‘probably’ occurred.

I’ve experienced many offenses throughout my life and have been the source of a few to which I was horribly astonished and apologized profusely. Three years ago a friendship was restored after many years of holding on to offenses each of us weren’t willing to let go and have an honest conversation about. I still thank God every day for redeeming our relationship! Just recently, I was offended at a long-time friend’s decision to make a change in her family’s life, where it seemed to me that my counsel or input was unimportant or insignificant. I cried out to God, “Here we go again, Lord. How many times do I have to go through this? I’m so tired of letting those close to me, hurt me.” And I even questioned the Almighty God, “Is it all worth it?” Immediately, without hesitation, He answered, “Pam, do YOU think I am worth it? Do you think a life with some disappointments and hurt is worth spending eternity with Me? Remember, I did not promise you a life full of sunshine, puppies, kittens and all things that make you happy. Let me help you get through this…again.”

I don’t know why we keep letting others offend us. After all, it is up to US, right? After it happens, we say, “Ok, that is the last time I ever let someone hurt me.” We try so hard to develop thick skin and let the offenses roll off our back. The truth is, we are human, and as humans, we have emotions, we get hurt, and other humans disappoint us. Our response to these feelings is so critical in our walk as followers of Christ. I do not have it all figured out, and believe me, I’m still a work in progress after almost 30 years of following Christ. Through this last offense, I have learned that we must strive to communicate positive messages to one another and about others. Second, we must do everything in our power to bring healing and restoration when these offenses occur. Third, we must bury the offense and make it our goal to obtain peace.

And so, after spending some alone time in serious conversation with my Savior, He restored my soul, healed my broken heart, and gave me peace that was so incomprehensible that when I woke up the next morning, my offense seemed insignificant. I do not know if what I imagined happened, actually really happened. If I find out what I imagined, did truly happen, I know this person well enough to know that it was not intentional and she never meant to hurt me and I must let it go.

I never want to stop learning and growing in my walk with Christ. It’s the heartbeat of who I am and everything I aspire to be…which is more and more like Him. ☺

Proverbs 4:23 “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.”

Our heart determines where we go because it controls our passions and emotions. If we don’t guard our heart with God’s Word and stay focused on the road God wants us to travel, temptations may overcome us.

Ephesians 3:17 “Christ will make His home in your hearts as you trust in Him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong.”

1 John 5:21 “Keep away from anything that might take God’s place in your hearts.”

We should remember to keep God at the center of our heart to prevent anything else from controlling it. Let’s be diligent to call on Him, to study His Word, to praise Him, to serve Him, and to love Him with our whole heart.  He deserves better than our leftovers.

Proverbs 23:19 “Listen and be wise. Keep your heart on the right course.”

As Christ followers, we must be alert to everything that is happening around us.  We must have God-vision to see the darts the devil throws at us to trip us up.  Don’t be blind-sided.  We have the full-armor of God to protect us and guard our heart.  If we use the armor wisely, we cannot be defeated! Stand firm; stay strong with eyes wide open.

I do not believe there is a loving parent out there who does not want their children to have good things in life.  As much as we want that for them, lavishing them with too many of those good things can be compared to letting them gorge on sweets…damaging their health, hindering their appetite for wholesome things, and leading to a hunger for risky, harmful ones.

As loving parents, we must set healthy limits in all areas of our children’s lives by creating appropriate stages and boundaries. 

For example:

·      Put age limits on behaviors that rush our children out of childhood, like

1.             wearing makeup

2.             having a cell phone

3.             having a Facebook page

4.             playing certain video games

5.             watching certain TV programs or movies

6.             dating

7.             getting a job

I do not know what those ages are for your children, but my husband and I have an idea what those ages are for our children.  You know your children best and as you train them up, you know what they can handle or not handle at that particular stage in their life; however, we simply cannot push them into those stages too early in their life. When we delay these activities until an appropriate age, we get to ‘celebrate’ them as rites of passage toward a healthy adulthood.

We give our children something to look forward to when we are intentional about setting up these stages and boundaries. We teach them that it’s OK to wait for something. The world is shouting at them, “You can have it all now. You don’t need to wait! Go for it!” As parents though, we know that instant gratification often leads to long-term problems like massive debt, destroyed relationships and wounded emotions.

Our children are a blessing from God. Let’s give them our time; lots of time, and let’s steward that time into helping them make good, long-term, healthy choices now. Maturity is a process and is not something that happens automatically when they turn 18.

* Some excerpts taken from Focus on the Family website.

Rick Renner, author of Sparkling Gems from the Greek, expounds on this popular verse with such fervor and clarity: 

         Philippians 4:7 ”And the peace of God – a peace so wonderful that it cannot be compared to any other type of peace; a peace that stands in a category by itself and rises far above and goes beyond anything the human mind could ever think, reason, imagine, or produce by itself –will stand at the entrance of your heart and mind, working like a guard to control, monitor, and screen everything that tries to access your mind, heart and emotions.”

The devil is great about bringing up old news, right? Unpleasant stories, past regrets, or failures can often cloud our mind to where we no longer look ahead with hope and expectation of a better tomorrow, much less a better future.  He is very crafty at knowing exactly what will set us off and send us into fear and isolation. 

As a child of God, we can refuse to allow the devil to cause panic and anxiety in us. We can refuse to allow the devil to push our buttons.  When the peace of God is standing guard at the entrance of our heart and mind, the devil has lost his access to our thought life and our emotions!

This peace of God cannot be understood within ourselves; however, in my own simple mind when I think of the word peace, I see a vast ocean with subtle waves; I see a content, precious baby in the arms of his mom or dad; I see a grateful parent praying over their beloved child at bedtime; and I see a loving God holding his hand out to His beautiful creation – you and me.  So, you see, when I dwell on those thoughts instead of allowing my mind be filled with fear, or guilt, or hate, or regret; the peace of God, which is far greater and more spectacular than I imagine in my simple mind, transforms my mind to His thoughts – love, forgiveness, and hope.

Nothing compares to this powerful, protective, guarding peace that God has positioned to stand at the entrance of our heart and mind. When this peace operates in us, it dominates our life. Peace rises up and disables the devil’s ability to disturb us by preventing his attacks from creeping into our mind; therefore, destroying it from our thoughts and emotions.

Yes! Our God loves us that much and so much more to give us a peace that surpasses all understanding!

Some of you may have seen the recent video that I posted on Facebook and Twitter about Jessica Rey’s speech on the bikini and modesty.  I found it quite interesting and agree 100%.  While you may not agree with her like I do, you must admit that it most likely has caused you to think twice about ‘why’ you wear one, if you do.

I believe the way we are raised influences our choices significantly.  I was raised to err on the side of modesty at all times.  I have lived by that for 44 years now. No, I am not a prude or Miss Goody Two-Shoes or even Puritan.  My friends can attest to that. 🙂  I simply choose not to expose certain parts of my body for public viewing.  During my adolescent years, I was just obeying what my parents had taught me.  I never viewed modesty as a bad thing.  I associated it with ‘acting like a lady’, so to speak.

It wasn’t until I was in my 20’s did I realize that God said my body is a temple of Him and I must respect what He’s given me.  I had heard that scripture before but it never really struck a chord in me until after my teen years which is why we, as parents, as teachers, as mentors, as sisters, as friends must teach the younger girls how important this is before the world captures their attention and gives them a false identity of themselves.  The only identity we should be concerned with is the one our Creator gave us!

1 Cor 6:19-20  “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?  You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”

Ms Rey states, “We need to teach girls that modesty isn’t about covering up our bodies because they’re bad. Modesty isn’t about hiding ourselves; it’s about revealing our dignity. We were made beautiful in God’s image and likeness, so the question I’d like to leave you with is, ‘How will you use your beauty?’ ”

I’m not a big fan of some of the clothing I see available for girls/teens/women today.  In fact, I’m appalled at how short the shorts are and how low the shirts are these days.  You can dress fashionably and still dress modestly, allowing your dignity to shine. Hint: layering is a good thing…and, you can do it in fashion.  I have a daughter who will be a teenage in November and she knows how to shop modestly already.  It’s a trait that is non-negotiable in the Boyd home.  She knows her body is not on display and she chooses to respect what God has given her.

Please understand that I am not judging anyone who does not share my opinion on this topic. I am simply stating how and why I believe the way I do on this topic.  I have some friends that will disagree with me about this, but my friendship with them is way more important to me than our disagreement on this topic.

The last part of Ms Rey’s quote is a question that all of us should take some time to reflect on, “How will you use your beauty?”

*Here is the video*  WJVHRJbgLz8

This is a note I just came across that I wrote back in 2009. I thought it would be a great reminder for all of us as we start a new year. 🙂

I have come to the realization that as I get older and one year after another sneaks by, I am becoming more sensitive…maybe more sympathetic or empathetic sums up my tearful episodes of late. I can hardly watch a heartfelt commercial, tv show, or feel-good movie anymore without tears. Yes, it’s just a commercial which I’ve seen a thousand times, so… what is wrong with me?!! And this one’s a biggie…IF I see someone else crying, well, just throw me the tissue box cuz I’ll cry right with them. I wonder if all of my tearful episodes is because I’m approaching menopause, mindful I’m 43, so I’ve a got a few years to go, for sure. J Or, could it be that God is trying to show me something about His love.

I know that February is the big LOVE month and I LOVE this month and all things about LOVE. But must we limit it to just ONE month to celebrate our love for one another? I think not. If we never show our love for someone until Feb 14^th, then is that really love? I think not. If we never give a thoughtful, loving card or buy chocolates or flowers or whatever until that fateful Valentine’s Day does that count as a celebration of LOVE? I think not.

Love is in everything! It’s in the way we talk to others, the way we listen to others, the way we care for others, and the way we accept others and ourselves for who God created us to be. Those are just a few examples of love, but I think they are some of the most important. Nothing compares to God’s love for us, for sure. I mean, none of us can fathom how far the east is to the west. That’s how much He loves us! It’s never-ending, it’s unconditional, and it’s always and forever.

So through my tears and empathy of silly little commercials and tv shows who truly help people, I believe God is softening my heart to become more aware of those that need our love. Some of those have never understood or even seen love. Some do not know that our God is love and cannot understand how He could love them. I am thankful that I have always felt loved and never had to question whether I was loved or not. I had a very loving childhood, which carried with me to my adult years.

I believe now more than ever that God is showing me how to be a ‘carrier’ of His love. Sure, it’s easy to love those that love me; but to love those who don’t love me or those who are unlovable is hard. It’s frustrating and nauseating, to say the least and for some of us, it can be very painful. It’s a self-less act that Jesus portrayed with dignity. As a Christ-follower and one who desires to become more like Him, it must become a self-less act for me, too.